For you all

Was scrolling into my blog to re-live moments of my days with Arsh.Ah it was indeed a virtually beautiful reading.so refreshing and filled with lots of energy.Rupi, Sunny,gurpreet and all of my people..keep on asking about what Arsh does now a days.So this post is specially for you.. guys n gals.

Suddenly I'm seeing Arsh has become very big and has started teaching me things..How..let me explain...why I concluded this...

1) He can manage to switch on the light of our room ..by climbing his bicyle and then clicking it.Else he has lot of other ideas....like using his aeroplane to click and etc etc.
2) He tells me "Mom we forgot our daily session of dance".So in night we follow and have to dance in tune to his latest crazy steps ..devised specially by Arsh.
3) We play hide and seek and its rule are settled by Arsh.So papa will go first and will count uptill 1-10.And when he will come to search....we see Arsh standing and saying "Papa I'm here."So i won.Must say..."How sweet".
4) In night ..while telling Arsh the stories..i sleep within.So arsh wakes me up to say"Mom wake up and now i will tell u what happened next in the story".And I'm like"Oh God.....
5)He comes up with the weirdest matches for his dresses.So he will want to wear yellow shirt with red shorts.He loves it.Individuality in the making...
6) His questions make me look for more answers.Once Arsh asked "mom why are you a gal and I'm a boy".And I ended up answering...God made us that way.On this he asks...oh God has soo much work to do.
7) If  i tell him to say sat sri akal to babaji(God),he asks me "Ma'ma .i say sat sri akal to babaji but he never answers.so next time..i will not say until he says me first".Very intelligent..
8) If i get angry with Arsh...he will come and tell me in the same tone"Don't you know how to talk to me".And i'm like....what.So i better be in control the next time.
9)If i ask Arsh what u did in school.He asks"Pehle u tell me what u did".After i finsh up..he says "Why Ma'ma....u ask me the same question daily".n m like...aah.
10) Before we enter any mall or shop.Arsh has his shopping list prepared...so its we going ahead with our things and he moves in opposite direction..mostly to a toy shop,book shop etc with his agendas.

And the list continues.....
But i feel so good..when i realize how much Arsh upbringing taught me.
1)I learnt that its only and only love which makes individuals happy.When Arsh shows tantrums..I had to be so patient to make him realize that he was wrong and he could see things in that context.When i believed he didn't need love..it was the time when he needed it the most.
2) The biggest gift we can give to others is to let them be themself.
3) I learnt that I should try to teach my child good values and impart it through my conduct.Later the choices he makes ...is upto to him bcoz he will bear the fruits.
4)My intent always has to be to give.The biggest gift i can give is acceptance and understanding to help him fulfill the roles ...God has devised and the ones he has chosen for himself.
5)We are two different people.I want love and respect...i have to learn to give it first.
6)Having fun and always living in present.The biggest lesson.

I know lessons were not needed, but i penned them for reference.
Happy reading

Never ever plan just follow the flow

Started up with a new phase in my life.Never had planned that I will become a lecturer.It was just soo boring and never in my context.But now,I think with my present ifs and wants, it is the best job suiting my life and priorities.Teaching students who are might be couple of years younger to you is a different ball game altogether.Their way of handling things,thinking brings lot of freshness to all the perspective.

And its too good that suddenly my schedule has started working and now i don't waste time in sleeping again and again in the morning and the lazy afternoons...its better to put my mind to something productive.Surely, it will also check my waistline which was getting hitched inspite of yoga due to my regular drooling in the fridge and Arsh's plate.Feeling excited that now i don't need to see my hubby's credit card everytime before entering a mall.Though i will make certain that I grace his cards with my shopping but now i have an excuse"Will you buy it for me or should i take it on my own."

One more advantage I'm seeing is from Arsh's perspective,due to my quality time spending with him. Earlier i had lot of quantity time, but now, when I'm with my baby .......I'm only with him.so no TV,newspaper or book..its only Arsh and his talks and plays.And so i also see he doesn't take me soo granted which i had started experiencing earlier.This connect goes to my Mom also.I realized her worth more after my marriage.
I take it that distance for some time or may be age is accumulating this affect.Good for both of us.

Apart from all the positives, their is also a big list which i 'm really not liking.Making endless presentations, assignments, checking examination papers (its a task,really.And i really remember all my teachers,professors for actually tolerating this pain) and sitting in boring guest lectures etc etc. ...the list is endless.

Positives are outweighing the negatives,so I'm loving it.

Bucket full of life

Lots of thoughts to pen down.I think firstly i should start with my lifeline .....obviously Arsh only.My last entry in this blog, had me going crazy with his schedule and tantrums.But now, I'm feeling soo good to write that he is settled now and ready to pack his bags for play-school and me to start my job.Settled in the sense that he has learnt to play on his own, tries to be a good boy most of the time.Whenever he is upto some mischief, and if he understands that good boys don't do it then lot of times he corrects himself for my rescue.I'm not saying that he has become a thorough gentleboy.But yes i think with age he has learnt that there are lot of things which can hurt him and others,so he needs to be sensitive for it.And surely his ideas for fun keeps me in toss but its really soo exciting. His questions puzzle me which start with infinite loops for making his understanding get clearer or as I say to settle the synapses in his brain are laughable,fun and at times irritating.So, if he will ask Ma'ma what is this...and i answer something...the same question will be asked by him for infinite time with me giving the same answer for infinite time defintely with my creative facial expressions.He is settled in some sense but his mischieves keep on being updated and renovated every time,leaving me wondering how come he got this idea.But yes its one of the most beautiful part of his childhood ..no tension with full fun always,running,climbing here and there like monkeys,wondering every new thing for its uniqueness, being innocent at every minute gesture and action ,explaining all the things with sooo much enthusiasm and yes having his parents to bow to him for every little whim.And now his growing up has propped new challenge for me with his affirmative NO.I get amazed why and how come he said that to me...but i think it is his first steps to being a different individual who has some thinking for different things according to his understanding.Every thing is interpreted according to his knowledge,so carpenter means somebody related to carpet, babji repairs the broken plant leaves with his screw driver.And questions that why didi and bhaiya are hugging in the newspaper, his interest for bulldozers,cranes,aeroplanes.And broken or not ,by default Arsh will repair everything with his screwdriver.Really funny but very lovable.

Rather, I think the same concept applies to everybody in universe...all analyze things according to their knowledge which could be sooo minute or infinite.Or I can say the world is just confined to my knowledge.And hence their has to be constant run to update my knowledge to better understand things which gets followed up with actions.Very philosphical but i think this break has been influential to give me some time to understand lot of things.I have been religious or spiritual ways courtesy my parents[though they r quite different,but somewhere religion the discipline leads to spirituality].This break gave me time to read and research a little about Sikhism and what is in Guru Granth Sahib,whose interpretation was beyond my understanding.I never understood that why God has sent me on this earth or why everything will get finished.I don't want to lose the people I love and want them to be with me forever.Why their is a fear of uncertainity,why i was under soo much pressure...i mean balancing life,famili,studies and work,how to remain calm when everything around seemed so turbulent.Why I get into the same situation from which I always want to run.

I think some answers i got.The way ones get to understand the bigger picture about how life takes his course, makes more confident,calm and assured.God always has a reason for doing something and when he is present in everything,everywhere then why to be afraid of anything.Our karma make the direction of our life move and their are certain things which might not be due to your karma but to make one understand the powers and reasons of Supreme being.Kam,krodh,lobh,moh ahankar -the five evils which if controlled then we never need to search the reasons of life and rather all mystery keeps getting solved in front of us.And than the first work comes to change ourself and free our mind and spirit from these five evil and it will be followed with the change in the world.Very truly said that the change starts from us,me and myself.Anger is the direct product of Ahankar.If we cannot respect others for their opinion or their being themself than might somewhere those five evils are coming in our path giving rise to all the obstacles.Forgiving and acceptance needs high tolerance and discipline.The biggest karma of me on this earth is to complete all my repsonsibilities with utmost sincerity and honesty.And God is honesty,passion,compassion...all the true feelings.Everything is he(God)...so treating all human being with respect ...is the greatest way to serve the almighty.And if somebody still tries to take away our basic rights than fighting back without hating is too equally spiritual and important.

Also, I Read about Guru Gobind singhji 's history.Mind blowing for understanding.I mean he always used to be my role-model ..i mean I was always impressed with babaji way to stand aginst oppression beacuse that needs tremendous strength and courage.Guru Gobind Singh ji never hated Moghuls though they were the same persons who took his entire family by all the wrong doings.He fought with them and forgave Aurangjeb when he invited Babaji to visit him and also helped Bahadur shah to get the empire after aurangjeb died and their famili feud followed.I kept thinking how could he forgive the son of the preson who killed his father,his four children and took almost everything from him.Later realized, that is what is called forgiveness.It might will not heal the wounds but helps to reduce the mental agony or may a start for healing of those wounds.And that is also a way to serve the Almighty.

Also, liked khalid hosseini "The thousand splendid suns". Little depressing,I mean getting out of emotions of the novel took little time.May be that was its impact.Whatsoever, after reading it ,I realized that i'm soo lucky that i have soo much.There are sooo ,many people in different part of the world who even are not blessed with the basic neccessities of just having respect for being human, deprived of food,happiness.

In all,I will say life is an experience worth living with whatsoever we have.Jyaada philosphical ho gaya but chalta hain.

A Memoir

From where should I start???A pretty hectic day that right now I’m exhausted with emotions of anger , fatigue , extreme tiredness and may be frustation. May be once provoked I’ll either bash somebody with continuous honest words or to avoid being out of control,I will cry.

Now everybody would be wondering kya hua…why so???? Taking care of a naughty one and a half year boy leads to same kind of emotions at the end of the day .Ironically…than too I always look forward to the next day to play with him, handle him, understand him.As each day is a new day when he brings about newer challenges for me in the pursuit of his own independency. Making my whole strategies tumble over their heels in pursuit of making him a better human being , and than again I’m back thinking for newer ways. Being polite and patient is the biggest daunting task when he continues doing things which I abhor him to do. Repeated requests, distractions nothing work with him if he put his mind into something .So either I got to let him be on his way or become firm and might be at times lose temper also.hahaha..thats why now I say i have started respecting all parents more.

But this also has led that I have started controlling myself more for the things which I don’t want in my son. So now, I have to escape his eye for drinking water directly from fridge. I have to check using foul language for anybody or anything.I have to fight in a calm manner and be gentle come whatsoever may be.Really tough!!

And being patient with a naughty boy like him really needs nerve.Because he will do whatever I shall stop him to do.When I get him ready for park in his new clothes ,I just need to turn my back and then he is sitting right under a water tap in bathroom.I try to teach him to do loo in bathroom and he will nod and will tell me right after he does loo somewhere or on bed.I make all kind of new dishes for him and he rejects them as if they are the worst cooked in the world not even paining to glance them atleast.I'm running after every one hour with a portion of food and he will reject and within minutes will accept the same food from somebody else.Will ask for a thing from a high above in almirah and within minutes will want me to help him to keep it back.And if I'm talking to him, within a second he reaches somewhere up,above that I get puzzled for sometime how he reached there and how he gets such an infinite source of energy.If I'm tired its very sure that he will seldom let me take rest that day.And as such he is fine and learns things nicely but colours.Everybody knows the world is blue for him.I will keep teaching him and he keeps repeating in the end "blue".If I say plant leaves are of green colour and moment I ask"Arsh what is colour of plant leaves" he will smile cunningly and say "Blue".And I'm "God..how do i teach him".

Yes its really fun.At times tiring but worthwhile learning as I always say.Children make you forget the world and realize, make you amazed at the creation God has created.They are defintely God like because their emotions irrespective of anybody remains same.Not an ounce of jealousy,ego,anger and sooo pure ,happy that that they are the best teachers and an instrument to realize the God and your parents worth.

Trust Vote

Our government won the trust vote. Newspaper, news channel, people gossips and discussions everywhere the topic is same. Surely, lots are happy with it as we will be signing the nuclear deal now.But,all are defintely saddened by the happening in the parliament which we saw on TV. It was if our worst nightmares have come true.MP's being horsetraded.

Whatsoever it is , we deep down know that its not easy to survive in politics and being a gullible fish when surrounded by sharks everywhere. And, if caught you are gone.So,understanding the trade secrets is important. But it is not arguable, that a person needs to be honest to his work and the people and definitely trustworthy with a demeanor to reckon up.

I’m saying all this because somewhere from yesterday I have become very compassionate for Dr.Manmohan Singh. A person, whom, I always respected for his conduct, honesty, intelligence and humbleness. A person, whom, you can look upon and be proud for the association . Maybe, I’m little partial to Dr.Manmohan Singh but his honesty and humbleness always make me feel related. On Monday, I saw a person who was being smashed by allegations for corruption, lack of performance, mis-conduct and whatsoever. And, I was trying to read his face amidst the drama. A forced smile, a glum face as if his reputation and years of hard work is trotted in front of him. A lone PM who has his party men, colleagues flocking to a person near him [Chairperson of UPA] for every minor discussion. I was wondering how he must be feeling??? At times you have to bear repcurssions for certain deeds and than have to accept their outcome too. The deed could be as noble as you wished but with it brings its own outcomes. Also, if you have jumped in the sea in the arena of sharks , you have to become like them to handle them to survive. But it’s imperative that you don’t lose your qualities of fish .Though the harsh environment will need lot of work, self-confidence and a belief to be tolerated and then made to move slowly, patiently according to your own whims. In then end,I really loved when I listened about the scathing remarks he had made in his speech about the rival parties and their people. A thing which you don’t expect from Dr.Manmohan Singh. A person who is a gem of intelligence and humbleness to backfire like that. So,time teaches you and he did that utilizing the opportunity but I missed his speech due to those irritating MPs.
If you have jumped into the fire you got to tolerate the bruises but your inner manner will help to survive the ordeal and come out of it unscathed. Might be the purpose of life but it needs a lot of determination to change thinking and your way to survive while holding the inner principles and beliefs intact.

Arsh is a year old now

Arsh got a year old.Aah at times it seems the year has been soo long since taking care of Arsh ,and the other time it seems time has fled in a wink.
He is growing fast.These days he is trying to walk so his efforts are to balance his steps though he can walk calmly holding my hand.And the feeling watching him walk is defintely beyond expression.A small human being who was not even able to hold his head is getting ready to take on the world.But yes he is little late to walk...curtesy the winters due to which we don't let him try a lot and moreso he doesn't has patience to take little steps and thus prefers to crawl fast and take the thing which he wants.Arsh learned to crawl by the end of his seventh month.So was always running after cars,shoes,and all the newer things coming in his path.At the same time he had started standing taking a support also.A difficult phase since he would fall a lot never being able to approximate which step will hurt him.So dear Ma'ma had literally got mad.
Then the month long break in Arsh nani's house was fabulous.Learned how our parents dealt with us,and might a understanding to control the things.That phase also helped me to understand Arsh as a person.How Arsh understands what to do and not to do by gauging my face reactions.An awesome experience.
Now, Arsh's undertsanding is increasing.Its quite fascinating that every animal looks to him a boo means doggie.He enjoys throwing things down n then seeing the reaction and the sound.A menace as he wants to keep things from where he took them..and gets quite stubborn for that.Distracting him from something is really a task..swearly.You end up feeling ki lets give him that and have a peace of mind.And my mind says hey you cannot get fooled down.Every key is a car key for him by default and if you test about the things learned,he will just show them by turning his eyes towards it.Lazy or may be intelligent not to utilise his energy in lifting his hands to point towards it.And defintely moody that he will say hello,bye etc according to his mood.and if somebody brings some gift...God instead of wishing or atleast giving a small smile...Arsh will embarass us by putting his full attention on the gift not even blinking his eyes...aah
I think , now the real calmness n parenting starts .Quite a tedious task as today's children are really naughty.We at our age used to be sooo good,innocent..and i have our parents affidavit for it.And now...no words.But is really cute when he knows cars,key,tea,moon and keep mubbling maema,bookiya in his loudest pitch.
The funniest portion is his dad...poor chap has to work all day in office and has to work again after getting back to home.His weekends are more hectic than weekdays curtesy Arsh and his Mom.Arsh in his usual self doesn't want to sit for a minute and Arsh's mom wants rest and has to follow up lot of other things too.So Arsh with his dad making him on his toes always....with his grandparents following them in a bid to help .Quite a scene.....to laugh about.And the best part whenever i'm irritated with Arsh's dad ....now i can have a sweet revenge in form of Arsh...wow what a relief.Arsh's dad cannot dare to mess with me.
But yes the real parenting will teach us a lot and will make us respect and love our parents more....who defintely really tolerated us for sooo long and remained patient for that.

Chak De India

Saw Chak de India which inspired me to write a blog with a topic apart from my usual stuff of blogs these days related to my experiences with my baby.

Excellent script and wonderful lessons to be penned...for reference.

• A person managing the team needs to be very clear of his vision. It will give him confidence in himself. Since ultimately it is confidence rather than arrogance needed to align people for a common cause or goal. As in starting how Shah rukh tried to align the team for team spirit.
• To make a team excel it is imperative for the team to think together about a goal than about the individual concerns. Individually definitely there has to be a drive to improve but every body wins if a team wins and hence interest of a team are above the individual needs. That’s how Shah rukh tried to put up a feeling to play together to win a world cup.
• Knowing and accepting the strengths and weaknesses of a team and working on them to convert or utilize weakness as strengths. It was quite evident in the whole film.
• Faith in every person. If a person is not able to deliver the requisite results for a particular project. Instead of criticizing or demoralizing the best way to help him/her is to show confidence because ultimately intentions can always be easily judged. More so, failure or success have to be accepted than to get frustrated n then putting up blames etc.
• People with positive and negative attitude are important since negative attitude helps to learn more cause of the challenge involved and increase the understanding and with correct strategy they are good weapons in the arsenal to be used. As in Chakde…Bindiya Naik..
• In any situation, to win a war it is important to know n understand the enemy very clearly their moves and hence aligning ourselves according to that.The matches of world cup in chak de..were perfect in understanding this.
• It is not always attacks which helps ,you need to know to defend yourself correctly. As in Chake de, second match of the world cup.
  
• Every situation seemingly impossible too deserves a chance.

Chak de, is all about sportsman ship of correct attitude, needed in every aspect of life.