Never ever plan just follow the flow

Started up with a new phase in my life.Never had planned that I will become a lecturer.It was just soo boring and never in my context.But now,I think with my present ifs and wants, it is the best job suiting my life and priorities.Teaching students who are might be couple of years younger to you is a different ball game altogether.Their way of handling things,thinking brings lot of freshness to all the perspective.

And its too good that suddenly my schedule has started working and now i don't waste time in sleeping again and again in the morning and the lazy afternoons...its better to put my mind to something productive.Surely, it will also check my waistline which was getting hitched inspite of yoga due to my regular drooling in the fridge and Arsh's plate.Feeling excited that now i don't need to see my hubby's credit card everytime before entering a mall.Though i will make certain that I grace his cards with my shopping but now i have an excuse"Will you buy it for me or should i take it on my own."

One more advantage I'm seeing is from Arsh's perspective,due to my quality time spending with him. Earlier i had lot of quantity time, but now, when I'm with my baby .......I'm only with him.so no TV,newspaper or book..its only Arsh and his talks and plays.And so i also see he doesn't take me soo granted which i had started experiencing earlier.This connect goes to my Mom also.I realized her worth more after my marriage.
I take it that distance for some time or may be age is accumulating this affect.Good for both of us.

Apart from all the positives, their is also a big list which i 'm really not liking.Making endless presentations, assignments, checking examination papers (its a task,really.And i really remember all my teachers,professors for actually tolerating this pain) and sitting in boring guest lectures etc etc. ...the list is endless.

Positives are outweighing the negatives,so I'm loving it.

Bucket full of life

Lots of thoughts to pen down.I think firstly i should start with my lifeline .....obviously Arsh only.My last entry in this blog, had me going crazy with his schedule and tantrums.But now, I'm feeling soo good to write that he is settled now and ready to pack his bags for play-school and me to start my job.Settled in the sense that he has learnt to play on his own, tries to be a good boy most of the time.Whenever he is upto some mischief, and if he understands that good boys don't do it then lot of times he corrects himself for my rescue.I'm not saying that he has become a thorough gentleboy.But yes i think with age he has learnt that there are lot of things which can hurt him and others,so he needs to be sensitive for it.And surely his ideas for fun keeps me in toss but its really soo exciting. His questions puzzle me which start with infinite loops for making his understanding get clearer or as I say to settle the synapses in his brain are laughable,fun and at times irritating.So, if he will ask Ma'ma what is this...and i answer something...the same question will be asked by him for infinite time with me giving the same answer for infinite time defintely with my creative facial expressions.He is settled in some sense but his mischieves keep on being updated and renovated every time,leaving me wondering how come he got this idea.But yes its one of the most beautiful part of his childhood ..no tension with full fun always,running,climbing here and there like monkeys,wondering every new thing for its uniqueness, being innocent at every minute gesture and action ,explaining all the things with sooo much enthusiasm and yes having his parents to bow to him for every little whim.And now his growing up has propped new challenge for me with his affirmative NO.I get amazed why and how come he said that to me...but i think it is his first steps to being a different individual who has some thinking for different things according to his understanding.Every thing is interpreted according to his knowledge,so carpenter means somebody related to carpet, babji repairs the broken plant leaves with his screw driver.And questions that why didi and bhaiya are hugging in the newspaper, his interest for bulldozers,cranes,aeroplanes.And broken or not ,by default Arsh will repair everything with his screwdriver.Really funny but very lovable.

Rather, I think the same concept applies to everybody in universe...all analyze things according to their knowledge which could be sooo minute or infinite.Or I can say the world is just confined to my knowledge.And hence their has to be constant run to update my knowledge to better understand things which gets followed up with actions.Very philosphical but i think this break has been influential to give me some time to understand lot of things.I have been religious or spiritual ways courtesy my parents[though they r quite different,but somewhere religion the discipline leads to spirituality].This break gave me time to read and research a little about Sikhism and what is in Guru Granth Sahib,whose interpretation was beyond my understanding.I never understood that why God has sent me on this earth or why everything will get finished.I don't want to lose the people I love and want them to be with me forever.Why their is a fear of uncertainity,why i was under soo much pressure...i mean balancing life,famili,studies and work,how to remain calm when everything around seemed so turbulent.Why I get into the same situation from which I always want to run.

I think some answers i got.The way ones get to understand the bigger picture about how life takes his course, makes more confident,calm and assured.God always has a reason for doing something and when he is present in everything,everywhere then why to be afraid of anything.Our karma make the direction of our life move and their are certain things which might not be due to your karma but to make one understand the powers and reasons of Supreme being.Kam,krodh,lobh,moh ahankar -the five evils which if controlled then we never need to search the reasons of life and rather all mystery keeps getting solved in front of us.And than the first work comes to change ourself and free our mind and spirit from these five evil and it will be followed with the change in the world.Very truly said that the change starts from us,me and myself.Anger is the direct product of Ahankar.If we cannot respect others for their opinion or their being themself than might somewhere those five evils are coming in our path giving rise to all the obstacles.Forgiving and acceptance needs high tolerance and discipline.The biggest karma of me on this earth is to complete all my repsonsibilities with utmost sincerity and honesty.And God is honesty,passion,compassion...all the true feelings.Everything is he(God)...so treating all human being with respect ...is the greatest way to serve the almighty.And if somebody still tries to take away our basic rights than fighting back without hating is too equally spiritual and important.

Also, I Read about Guru Gobind singhji 's history.Mind blowing for understanding.I mean he always used to be my role-model ..i mean I was always impressed with babaji way to stand aginst oppression beacuse that needs tremendous strength and courage.Guru Gobind Singh ji never hated Moghuls though they were the same persons who took his entire family by all the wrong doings.He fought with them and forgave Aurangjeb when he invited Babaji to visit him and also helped Bahadur shah to get the empire after aurangjeb died and their famili feud followed.I kept thinking how could he forgive the son of the preson who killed his father,his four children and took almost everything from him.Later realized, that is what is called forgiveness.It might will not heal the wounds but helps to reduce the mental agony or may a start for healing of those wounds.And that is also a way to serve the Almighty.

Also, liked khalid hosseini "The thousand splendid suns". Little depressing,I mean getting out of emotions of the novel took little time.May be that was its impact.Whatsoever, after reading it ,I realized that i'm soo lucky that i have soo much.There are sooo ,many people in different part of the world who even are not blessed with the basic neccessities of just having respect for being human, deprived of food,happiness.

In all,I will say life is an experience worth living with whatsoever we have.Jyaada philosphical ho gaya but chalta hain.